Heeeeeeeeeere's Kitty!

Hello!

Hello…

Hello?

Heeeelllllooooooo!!!

…

<Insert crickets chirping here…>

Hmm… well irrespective of the fact that I probably don't have an audience anymore since I haven't graced the pages of my dusty little blog in well over a year now, I'm choosing to jump right back in whether I'm doomed to talk to myself forever or not.

When I first started out I felt I needed an inner outlet,  a space to call my own and let's be honest, some distraction of a sort… Being on a 6 year TTC journey is harrowing to say the least but I'm glad I gave myself the chance to express myself through this online world.

It opened up a doorway into an entire universe of people & mindsets I would never have otherwise come across which, I'm honoured to say, have shaped me somewhat into who I am today.

While I'm sure the online community holds it's fair share of Judgey McJudgisons & awful
Snidey Snidesons (what neighbourhood doesn't?) overall I've been blessed to have an all access pass into some wonderful ways of seeing a world I would ordinarily not be privy to.

So where is this sugary confessional leading you may ask?
That is, provided there's a YOU out there actually asking right now...
Well it finally feels as though I've come full circle on myself & am ready to approach this blog anew.

Since I no longer have the luxury of spending hours at a time composing what inevitably turns out to be a still far from perfect post…
Today is a rare occasion of which I have a full  SIX SPARE HOURS!

Can I get a Hallelujah?!!!

OH YEAH!!!

I'm simply going to pop in now and then with a brief snippet of my life as it stands in that moment.

No more rambling… well a little less rambling… after today obviously.

I've missed my humble little space and thought about posting many a time but alas my computer nooby ways would require too much editing/writing/rewriting time that I just don't often have.
Feel free to feel sorry for me.
Thank you.

Get ready for a new name, new approach & new me.
Hold onto your hats people…
It's gonna get real warm & fuzzy 'round here.

Love Long Distance

Just a little note thrust forth from the world of nappies, sleepless nights & the joys of staring upon my baby girls face.

Hello,

I don't know who of you are still out there checking in on my long neglected space now and then but if you are I just want you to know you're pretty darn awesome for doing so.

And I'd be super surprised & majorly chuffed to know it.

The very day before my little one decided to join the world (2 weeks early may I add - yea she's full of surprises) I had a post panning out in my mind as I was taking my afternoon walk.
Something about standing on the precipice of my life as it was and entering the vast unknown that spanned before me.
It's as if I knew I was standing on the edge of the world, about to step over that invisible line that now separates me from my life before her.

I wish I could say I'll be keeping you posted from now on but I probably won't.
Finding the time to do so is impossible at the moment - every waking second is dedicated to her.
Right now I'm sacrificing precious sleep, staying up till the wee hours of the morning to at least explain where I've been and what's happened to me since you heard from me last.
Just incase anyone's noticed me missing or still cares.
And I felt the need to gloat just a little…

She is hard work but man is she beautiful.

If I'm totally honest about it all I don't feel the need to blog much right now.

Maybe as she gets older and hopefully slightly less demanding, I'll feel the need to express myself in this format again but for now I'm blissfully consumed with the role I've been dying to fulfil for so long.

I know that sounds a bit rude but the best way I can describe it is this…

It's like before she came along I was always looking at life from the inside out, an observer from behind a lens yearning to capture a beauty I couldn't quite possess.

Since she's entered my life I feel like I've been released into the world or woken from a dream.

Truly living for the first time in my whole life.

Well I'd best be off now. It's time to snuggle into bed beside this little angel.

Love to you for taking the time to read this & who knows, maybe I'll be back here sooner than we all think xox

Destination: Struggle Town. Population: Me

                                                                   Source: loveyourchaos.tumblr.com via TissueClouds on Pinterest

When you find yourself 7 months pregnant and staring at the next 7 painfully empty days without your partner around to keep you company or fill the lonely nights with love, I wonder, what's a hormonally unstable pregnant lady to do?

I could sigh no less than 10 times a minute…
Curl up in a ball hugging my big belly and cry…
Mindlessly eat half a carton of choc/caramel ice cream till I feel sick…
Surf the internet/TV channels waiting for something interesting to jump out and entertain me enough to take my mind off him long enough not to sigh again in this same sentence…
Send him multiple texts bordering on the psychotic…
and when all that is said and done I could start the cycle again.
Le sigh, siigh, siiiighhhh…

But when you've had enough of sighing till you hyperventilate you could do what I've done and write up an incredibly lame list of things to do to pass the time while he's gone.
Ahem… here goes:

1. Spend over an hour on Pinterest pinning useless images & links like your life and the lives of those who follow you depends on it.

2. Fill your day with as much work as possible.
No I don't need to finish early today.
Sure, a 13 hour shift is totally appropriate for a woman in my condition.
Please stay and have another treatment. Nooo don't leave me… 

3. Catch up on reading your pregnancy guides. 
Go back over the early months and reminisce if you must.

4. Scan Facebook for updates every 10 minutes & stalk the about page of your entire friends list.
You'll be amazed at the banality or downright stupidity of what some people will write about themselves.

5. Watch all the crappy/ trashy TV that your heart desires guiltlessly.

6. Make half hearted meals for one.
Spaghetti ala Heinz tomato sauce anyone?
How about cheese and crackers? Tuna straight from the can is always a winner.

7. Catch up on blogging ;)

8. Write a really shit post about your inability to have a life outside of your husband.

9. Upload and categorise your holiday photos and finally write some posts about the times you weren't so lame and had said life you now lack.

10. Think of people to visit so as not to be home alone more than you need to be.

11. Take naps.

12. Go out and buy the box set of season one of Once Upon A Time and catch up on all the episodes your hubby wouldn't let you watch in peace while it was free to air.

13. Stay up really late until you're tired enough to go to bed without him by your side.

14. When you wake in the middle of the night to pee/stretch your back/stretch your hips or reheat your wheat pack, read a book with the lamp on to help you fall asleep again rather than trying to strategically toss and turn with your numerous pillows in the dark, all the while, trying not to wake your significant other or push him out of the bed or smother his annoying snoring face with them.

15. Don't bother with your hair and make up nearly as much as usual.

Which wasn't much to begin with I might add…

16. Clean the house like you have OCD.

17. Make a start on the office/junk room that you can barely open the door to.

18. Go out and buy some curtain railings in order to hang up those curtains that you bought over two weeks ago. 
It'll feel really nice to walk around your own lounge in your underwear again without scaring your neighbours children for life or have to live in fear of peeping toms watching your every move while hubby is away.

19. Analyse your baby name list and eliminate options by charting the best combinations to suit your last name via numerology testing.

Seriously, by now you're surely THAT bored.

20. Take another nap. You've earned it.

Memories

Source: jesseharding.tumblr.com via Meg on Pinterest

I'd been catching up on some blog reading today and came across this cute post via
The Girl Diagnosed, which jogged my ever cloudy memory to the fact that I once wrote a letter to my future self when I was 14…
(If only I could also remember where I hid it…)

I'm supposed to open it on my 30th birthday which is this coming January. Drats!

Looks like I have 2 months to ransack my old bedroom and hopefully find it.

Please God don't let me find out my Mum has put it "In a Safe Place" (ie: the Ether of the Universe)

This Is All I've Ever Wanted From Life...

‎"A song about seeing the world through childish eyes & being able to see what you really want rather than all the crap that doesn't matter"… I think he sums it up perfectly. 

 Happy Sunday all xox

Goodbye Old Friend

Yesterday we sadly wished farewell to a beloved old friend, Miss Woofy.
(No, unfortunately, we didn't get to pick her name and ironically she never barked).

Smitten by the arrival of our little ball of fluff Oscar, I've rarely mentioned her on this blog but that's no reflection of our love for her, merely her absence from our home since I started this space.

See Woofy has a very special history and for that an extra treasured place in our hearts.
Having adopted her from a mate who was in more than a bad place at the time and completely unable to care for her, Woofy had experienced a life of neglect that no animal should be subjected to.

By the time she came into our care she was estimated to already be at least 10 years old.
We couldn't be sure as she had been accepted by her original owner as payment and her age was of little concern to him at the time - that was over 5 years ago.

She came to us as a timid, cowering soul who couldn't walk on a lead let alone be comfortable around strangers or a group of more than two people.
But after just a few short months under my hubby's loving wing she blossomed, coming out of her shell and learning commands such as speak, shake and sit.
Before long walkies and shmako's became her two favourite treats :)
Who said you can't teach an old dog new tricks?

Flourishing in the glow of finally being the centre of peoples love and attention, the affection we got back from her was immeasurable.
It always amazed us that despite the neglect and poor treatment she had received growing up, her nature was as gentle and placid as an angel.

Although accepting Osky into the fold took some getting used to…

Oscar of coarse was in love with her from the start.
It didn't take long for him to bully his way into her heart and she was too much of a softy to refuse him.

Before too long they were the best of friends and he quickly became the puppy she never had.

Soon they were a little too comfortable in each others presence perhaps… haha

It was only when we took in another wanderer, my good friend Cel who was going through a tough time of her own suffering a marriage break down and facing deportation back to her home in Brazil, that we had to give Woofy up to my Mother In-Law since my friend brought along more than just a little bit of baggage in her tow.
We suffered a cyclone of sorts over the next 3 and a half months in the form of a feisty 4 year old female Jack Russell called Becky.

Woofy's submissive nature didn't stand a chance against Becky's overly excitable energy and when two weeks later she wasn't eating, had become listless and was still being bullied to the point of attack we could take no more.
She deserved better than that and boy did she get it…
Roast chicken dinners, sirloin steaks, an unlimited supply of doggy treats and the undivided attention of a single lady's love. It's no wonder she didn't want to come home at the end of her 3 month stay!

Sad as we were to give her up it was a match made in heaven and the knowledge that she was living out her final years in luxury and total comfort made up for any guilt in having to let her go.

Dearest Woofy, you were the best little companion anyone could ever hope for.
Your resilience and refusal to give up on the human race regardless of how badly you'd been treated was a testament to your beautiful nature and soul.
No other dog has been or will ever come close to holding a shadow to you.
Know that while your beginning may have been rough, in the end, you were loved by all who knew you.
You will always be in our hearts.
 All our love xox

Gratitude

Taken at 5 months.
I'm now up to 25 weeks and counting.

I can't believe so much time has lapsed since I last logged in!
I swear it feels like a moment ago I was being told I was only 6 weeks pregnant and yet here I am,
6 months and one week today - It's astounding how fast the time has passed.

While I haven't purposely shied away from blogging, if I'm honest, a part of me has hit a patch of the blahs when it comes to all things bloggy/techy. I'm completely one dimensional and can't help being focused solely on this pregnancy.

I've unwittingly turned away from my old distractions and become completely self obsessed instead.
Oh dear!

It started out in the strangest way though - looking through a camera lens or even so much as thinking about editing a photo literally made me sick.
Seriously it's on my list of morning sickness triggers (which has been ongoing I might add. Lucky me).
It seems creating a life has taken all the energy I might otherwise have had for my usual creative pursuits.
Then my fear of jinxing things stopped me from sharing the early stages of my journey (trust me it was in your best interests that I didn't. One word; Neeeurooootic!)

And now, knowing how love sick I am with this baby and my pregnancy, I fear I'll only saturate my blog space or bore you all with so much talk of baby, baby, baby, me, me, me… me, me, me, me, me.
Although, lets be honest, blogs are always very me me me so what's the dif I guess…

Still, while I will try my hardest to add some variation to my posts, I'll apologise now if it sometimes gets completely goo-goo, ga-ga around here.
I do want to acknowledge that there's more than one dimension to my life but I also have this overwhelming desire to not squander what fleeting time I have left to immerse myself in what is essentially a temporary stage of life.

I've waited for what feels like an eternity to be where I am right now and feel the most immense gratitude for being able to experience something I feared would never come.
It's hard to turn my back on that and even acknowledge there might be more to life lol.

Anyway enough of my validation speech…
I only hope you can continue to share in my journey, my joy and my friendship over the coming months.

Love always,
Kat x