Heeeeeeeeeere's Kitty!

Hello!

Hello…

Hello?

Heeeelllllooooooo!!!

…

<Insert crickets chirping here…>

Hmm… well irrespective of the fact that I probably don't have an audience anymore since I haven't graced the pages of my dusty little blog in well over a year now, I'm choosing to jump right back in whether I'm doomed to talk to myself forever or not.

When I first started out I felt I needed an inner outlet,  a space to call my own and let's be honest, some distraction of a sort… Being on a 6 year TTC journey is harrowing to say the least but I'm glad I gave myself the chance to express myself through this online world.

It opened up a doorway into an entire universe of people & mindsets I would never have otherwise come across which, I'm honoured to say, have shaped me somewhat into who I am today.

While I'm sure the online community holds it's fair share of Judgey McJudgisons & awful
Snidey Snidesons (what neighbourhood doesn't?) overall I've been blessed to have an all access pass into some wonderful ways of seeing a world I would ordinarily not be privy to.

So where is this sugary confessional leading you may ask?
That is, provided there's a YOU out there actually asking right now...
Well it finally feels as though I've come full circle on myself & am ready to approach this blog anew.

Since I no longer have the luxury of spending hours at a time composing what inevitably turns out to be a still far from perfect post…
Today is a rare occasion of which I have a full  SIX SPARE HOURS!

Can I get a Hallelujah?!!!

OH YEAH!!!

I'm simply going to pop in now and then with a brief snippet of my life as it stands in that moment.

No more rambling… well a little less rambling… after today obviously.

I've missed my humble little space and thought about posting many a time but alas my computer nooby ways would require too much editing/writing/rewriting time that I just don't often have.
Feel free to feel sorry for me.
Thank you.

Get ready for a new name, new approach & new me.
Hold onto your hats people…
It's gonna get real warm & fuzzy 'round here.

Memories

Source: jesseharding.tumblr.com via Meg on Pinterest

I'd been catching up on some blog reading today and came across this cute post via
The Girl Diagnosed, which jogged my ever cloudy memory to the fact that I once wrote a letter to my future self when I was 14…
(If only I could also remember where I hid it…)

I'm supposed to open it on my 30th birthday which is this coming January. Drats!

Looks like I have 2 months to ransack my old bedroom and hopefully find it.

Please God don't let me find out my Mum has put it "In a Safe Place" (ie: the Ether of the Universe)

Words From Before…

30.5.12

Sitting here I've written and rewritten this post countless times only to eventually squirrel it away to my archives for a later date.

Fluffing away about my tales of impending travel feels empty and irrelevant while I struggle to not scream from the rooftops the most exciting news of all… 

That I am almost 2 months pregnant!

How this is even possible escapes me as I had no idea you could conceive without at least having a cycle but it seems the old adage is true about life happening when you're busy making other plans.

So here I am, a week away from when I first found out the glorious news that a miracle is growing steadily inside me, a week away from leaving the country alone for the first time in my life and a week away from saying goodbye to my husband for the longest we'll ever have been apart so far in the 12 long years of our relationship.

I promise when I get back to fill you in on all that has been happening. 

I promise when I get back to be utterly and completely open and as honest as before.

For now I feel I need to retreat - to keep this little treasure to myself lest I jinx myself and wake up from this most beautiful of dreams.

Soon I can feel safe enough to share xox

To My Bloggy's

Dear Friends,

I'm sorry that I've been a shitty correspondent of late.
I've been distracted and preoccupied to the point of neglecting both you and my creative pursuits for almost a month now! That's far too long.

But I have fair reason to have ignored you till now.
What with holiday preparations and an inundation of clients wrestling for my time before I leave it's left me with little time to even process all the exciting things that have been going on this month and all that is yet to come.

 It honestly just dawned on me today that I am only a week away from leaving the country alone for the first time in my life and a week away from saying goodbye to my husband and puppy (and you my bloggy friends) for the longest we'll ever have been apart so far.
I'll do my best to post from there but will have to wait and see how I go.

Well that's all I suppose, here I am leaving you with a brief note to say sorry for my absence, both lately and upcoming, but I can promise you that when I get back I will have enough material to last us a lifetime.
You won't know what hit you!

Until then I bid you all adieu.

A tune to say goodbye to:

 See you when I get back xox

Day 24: Parents

Dearest Mama & Baba,

For all the times I disobeyed when you were only guiding me out of love and concern, for worrying you with my apparent lack of direction in life and total disrespect towards you as a teenager - I'm sorry.
Because you have loved me despite the pure undiluted rebellion that has always coursed through my veins, I thank you.
For all the ways in which you have and continue to help me, for being the unique and special beings that you are, for raising me in your own way - You are appreciated more than words can say.
Thank you for sharing with me your wisdom, your stories of another world and time that would otherwise be long forgotten.
I'm glad I persisted in trying to understand who you both really are underneath the titles of Mum & Dad for you are both exceptional people that I am blessed to call my parents.
Everyday I learn more and more of your struggles, your bravery and success in life both past and current. I couldn't look up to any two people more.
For the most simple, which are equally the most beautiful, reasons
I love you.
xoxo

- For if there's love dear... those are the ties that bind, and you'll have a family in your heart forever  :)

Day 13: Un-Love Letter

Letter to someone who has hurt you recently:

Ironically enough I had written a very long letter twice to this frienemy during the course of my wedding planning but never sent it to her while the commotion was happening.
Maybe things would be different if I had... maybe not. But I just couldn't face another challenge along with everything else that was going wrong leading up to my nuptials. (cake problems, invitation disasters, getting locked in a sauna and being involved in a near fatal car accident the night before the wedding are just some of the things that had happened.)
I was hoping to meet with her after the commotion of wedding emotions had died down so we could talk our troubles through but unfortunately the cooling off period turned into 3 months of silence and when she finally got back in touch it was for a reason that left a lot to be desired, causing  things to escalate a few weeks ago...
(refer to: Signs from Above and Grateful) our "talk" didn't quite go the way I had hoped.

I was about to post the letter here, as it explains so well what happened between us, but I feel all in all that it's too personal and should only be seen by her when the time ever comes... if the time ever comes.
The pain is still a little fresh in my heart so I'm sorry that I can't go into too much detail.
This short letter will have to suffice for now.

Dear Maid of Dishonour,
I had my heart crushed by my very best friend. 
I watched as 17 years crumbled under the weight of change.
I cried bitter tears as the girl I considered a sister turned her back on me and stung me with goodbyes.
As the poison of unspoken errs waged war between us our distance grew too far to ever be bridged by humble apologies.
What's been seen can never be unseen.
What's been done can never be undone.
I miss the bliss of ignorance yet I feel freed by the unveiling of truth.
What's done is done.
Goodbye
K. x

Sunday Night Finds & Photo Shop Goodbyes

While waiting for my scapegoat (niece) to arrive, who had already seen HP but whom I dragged along so as not to amplify my desperado status by watching it alone, I wandered into a store so I could pretend to look for clothes. (So I wouldn't look like an eager beaver, desperately stalking people to watch a movie with me.)

While "pretending" I decided to try on a few things, purely to look believable of coarse, and because the sales girl was giving me the stink eye (probably because I was "browsing" aimlessly for about 30 mins.)
Now after pretending to try them on I may have actually worn them (to humour the sales girl of coarse) aaand I may have accidentally fallen in love with them and bought them... "accidentally"....
along with 3 pairs of earrings. Ooops.

My accidental shopping spree.
Sales Girl = 1
Me = minus $70

In an unrelated post, Do you like my new obsession with collages as featured above? (expect a few more to come.)
Which brings me to this next uncomfortable conversation:

Dear FotoFlexer,
Let me start by saying "It isn't me, it's you."
I don't know how to tell you this but I think our love is over.
Our time together was good while it lasted but I just need more from an editing system.
Because I hate to keep things inside, it's only fair you should know, I think I've fallen for someone else.
With their cute little sayings at the start of the program, speedy uploads and downloads, amazing layout and huge variety of options Picnik (namely it's collage app) has stolen my heart.
It's time to move on and start broadening our horizons.
Maybe we can see each other again through shared visitation... maybe not...
Only time will tell.
Till then good luck and farewell. I'm going on a Picnik!
Weeeeee!!!
No longer yours,
Kat x

Kran-tastic!

Dear Kranski,
You rock my world.
Maybe not as much as white wine but I think we could start a love story all the same.
Just not the 3 of us - ever again..
xx Kat

Note to self: Menage a trois - not such a great idea.
Kraskies + white wine  + me = Bad romance.
I'll be sticking to the beers next time. Woke up feeling a lot less than ordinary and the repetition of sausage and wine all night long really wasn't appreciated.

As for clarity regarding dishonourable mention, I've come to the conclusion a response isn't even warranted, that I'm too soft for caring and that the only reason she contacted me (like always) is because she wants something. Cheeky bitch!

Honourable mention to Miss Mitts: Thank you for the camera advice my lovely - Totally worked and I'll be sure to spend countless future hours wasting plenty of valuable time playing with the many features of iphoto to create something that resembles a picture of semi artistic merit.

Seriously jump on this girls blog - you'll see what I mean by inspirational photography: http://cosrardandpenpen.blogspot.com/
Just a touch of shameless promotion... had to do it eventually.

Well I'm off to wax some more hairy fluff, just thought I'd sneak on to catch you up on the latest briefly before the next wave rolls in.
May even get a chance to do some dodgy photo editing while I'm at it.

Chat soon xx