Recently I read this post written by Rhianne of For the easily distracted, who was inspired first by EZ of Creature Comforts who in turn was inspired by a 'Things I'm afraid to tell you' blog challenge created by Jess of Makeunder My Life.
The fact that this has trickled into a force of such momentum as to have over 50+ bloggers participation is astounding and gives me hope that honesty is in fact the best policy.
While it's always lovely to draw inspiration from such pretty sites as design and fashion forums, blogs etc, there's an element of nicey niceness within it that, well… sometimes just feels a bit forced.
And when it does appear that some people are just so effortlessly cool, it only serves to reaffirm my own self doubts - which of coarse is a problem of my own creation - no one can make you feel something you don't already believe...
Anyway I'm rambling, as usual.
I think I'm usually very honest on this space (probably waaaay too honest actually) but hey why not push the boundaries even further?
What is self growth if not the ability to laugh in the face of your own ridiculous face?
The fact is, that to do anything in the world worth doing,
we must not stand back shivering and thinking of the cold and danger,
but jump in and scramble through as best as we can.
Right then, let's dive in shall we?
☁ I've collected every card and every letter I've ever received and store them in old shoe boxes.
Proper letters, not bills and stuff, that'd be weird. (Although I do have a few of those floating around too. Sometimes I just put them down or shove them in a draw somewhere and forget to throw them away till I get in the mood to Spring clean.)
☁ Before renovating my dining room, all that space was used as a junk room.
No, I don't mean just a few random bits and bobs that don't have any other place in the house.
I'm talking about things like piles of clothes that don't fit in my already bursting and outdated wardrobe, my very first PlayStation console (plus games) as well as a monthly collection of Dolly magazines dating back from my first days of HighSchool. Do they count as vintage?
☁ During said renovation, rather than sorting through all that crap I simply dumped it all into what used to be the study but is now the Room of Doom. (You can barely open the door or even walk into it without fear of being crushed by clutter).
Sometimes while watching Hoarders I worry that I may become like that one day.
I joke about it all the time but my Dad has always had a tendency to hoard and I worry since I do take after him, more than I care to admit, that it will happen with me too.
☁ I cry whenever I get angry. I cry especially hard if ever anyone is angry with me, even if I just think they are. My stomach gets all knotted and I replay the scenario in my head till I think I've convinced myself I couldn't have done anything wrong but then the tears come anyway.
I hate to disappoint and I especially hate confrontation so a combination of the two is simply a disaster.
☁ When I get too personal about my inner feelings I worry that I'm coming across all emo and needy, not to mention super depressing, and that I will turn people off me.
☁ But when I avoid talking about my darker moments I worry that I'm no longer being real and that you will all get bored of me.
☁ I'm completely in love with my dog and consider him my fur baby far too much than is normal.
☁ Sometimes I think my photos are actually really crappy and so amateur that people only say nice things about them so as not to hurt my feelings.
I also worry that I have no actual talent in photography and that attempting to get any good at it will turn out to be a waste of time.
With so many wonderful photography blogs out there showcasing so much amazing work I feel I'll forever be on the back foot. But it makes me happy that I'm trying and so I continue.
☁ I know I use (brackets) and 'commas' and italic far too much than I should. But.I.Just.Can't.Stop…
☁ I'm not at all very domestic (it comes and goes in sparks & spurts) and worry that one day this will come between hubby and I.
☁ After almost a year of blogging I still don't know what the hell my blog is about or where on Earth any of this is heading.
☁ I get so nervous before any and every social occasion to the point that I get snappy and irritable at every little thing to go wrong. I don't understand why this happens but it gets so bad that I can't make a single decision during my panic and always end up over or under doing it when making myself up.
I've found the only thing that helps is to put on soothing background music while getting ready in order to calm myself down.
☁ I've been known to eat jam straight from the jar. Especially gooseberry jam which I only just discovered recently but boy oh boy does that stuff taste out of this world!
☁ I'm afraid that lists like these make me seem incredibly insecure, self absorbed and neurotic.
☁ Secretly I hope you instead find them endearing and relatable and therefor will prove me to be completely irrational and wrong about myself.
And so now I will go bury my head in my blankets and pretend I never pushed publish.