Hello Monday - we meet again.... and under the same grumpy circumstances it seems.
Went on a bit of a bender Saturday night but not before putting myself through 2 hours of exercise torture first. I don't know what I was thinking. Trying to make up for my inevitable bad behaviour perhaps?
I think I am actually starting to look forward to this Dry July challenge. I can't wait to not wake up on a Monday feeling like a trucks hit me.
Scouring the web for some much needed love brought me to a blog that's provided some much needed inspiration. whitegirlghettofab
Now while outward appearances may be that she's a bit of an air headed barbie I can't help but be inspired by her many pics of awesomely fit physiques. (You'll notice i said fit not thin). Along with some common sense diet and exercise tips and a bit of trashy thrown in for fun, (She is your quintessential 18 year old American teenager after all..) I've found it to be quite the motivator.
So along with her blog some other things that have brought me much love today are:
walking my dog in the early morning sunshine
Trying out Jamie Oliver's 30min meals. Today I had his Asian Style Salmon for lunch - YUMMO!
The amazing smell of my Glasshouse candles (to mask the smell of fish) - $35 from Peter Alexander but totally worth it. You only need to burn it for about 10mins and the whole house smells delicious!
Well I'm off now to get ready for my first and last client of the day (rescheduled the rest - bit of a train wreck, very naughty of me I know).
Today I am grateful for so very much but I'll start with a smallish list. (as small a list as my rambling will allow lol)
I am grateful for the world wide web that makes sharing and caring so much easier and can help us all stay connected as well as inspire and entertain us on a daily basis.
I am grateful for my PCOS as it's forcing me to take my health seriously and make much needed changes for my future happiness.
I am grateful for my dear hubby who loves me endlessly even through my many moods. He also manages to whip out his inner chef most nights to thrill me with his surprising culinary skills. I could go on raving about him for days...
I am grateful for the love and support of true friends.
I am grateful for the Universe/ The Holy Spirit or whatever you want to call it, and how it manages to take matters into its own hands and create change for the better. Even if I can never see it that way at the time.
I am grateful that certain people are out of my life and that I got to say my piece so that I can now move on with some closure and peace of mind.
I am grateful for my blog that allows me to express myself and has begun to unfurl the first tiny leaves of my dormant creativity.
The list could go on and on...
But I'll stop there and encourage you to take some private time to notice of all the little things that make our lives so special. It's too easy to get bogged down with the negative sometimes that we forget how lucky we still are.
Hope you have a great weekend, Get inspired and get living!
xxx
Kat
Although this Natropath has confirmed a lot of what I was told through countless blood tests over 2 years (and some very embarrassing personal expeditions into my nether regions) all by just staring into my eyes and jotting down some notes.
Sitting there I wished I'd known that my diagnosis could've been that easy 14 years ago.
It's been quite an uncomfortable ride to say the least... anyone who's had to live with polycystic ovarian syndrome will know exactly what I mean but I'll spare you the details.
Soon after taking the first batch of herbs I remembered why I ditched this option in the first place.
I've ingested some pretty gross shit in my time but let me just tell you this series of vile goop takes the cake, stomps on it and burns what ever reserves are left in the world!
Aaah the quest for good health, what a disgustingly difficult bitch you are.
C'mon science nerds, tweak some research. Surely cream buns and sitting on your fat ass cures or prevents some sort of disease...
Oh well for now I'll just try to remember
the more disgusting it tastes the better it probably is for you
No pain no gain
having this condition FORCES you to take care of yourself rather than being able to get away with treating your body like a waste basket.
So this is the madness that is involved in my hour of power.
I usually get through most of this - minus the leg lifts. I just can't think of a substitute for them when working out at home.
The last part is usually more of a power walk with Oski and we're usually out for a half an hour or so. I just cant bring myself to run after all that!
Maybe one day.
My goal is to lose another 4kgs and be down to my pre relationship weight by this summer (I gained 17kgs in the first year I met my now hubby!) but managed to lose a lot of it leading up to the wedding. It's amazing what love and contentment can do to a girls figure!
That's one good thing about stress though - if you can use it to your advantage it can pay off. Walking to clear your head is always a good start.
Well I'm off to tackle the day. Those Ferrero's aren't gonna burn off themselves.
This is an awesome link to a website I stumbled across on Tumblr! It's a diagram of the body and you just click the area you want to work out and it gives you a list of exercises. Enjoy!
Be well
xx
Kat
(Ok, so i just realised doing lunges is about the same as doing leg lifts... go me with the excuses!)
I almost devoured a whole box of Ferrero Rochers last night (in truth there are 6 left... oops now there are 5 - there were 16. Shhh!)
I am meant to be making up for this fact by being at the gym bright and early for an Hour of Power sesh (but instead am here blogging to you and playing with more internet distractions - curses!)
And now, so I don't feel as though my whole morning has been wasted I'll proceed to show you a little of what I've been doing.
Checking out the popularity of my little poser on pinterest - isn't he a darling?
More editing.
The first thing I see when I open my peepers in the morning are the beautiful keepsakes my precious family and friends gave me on my wedding day this March.
I wonder if all that sun that streams through my room will damage them? Maybe I should put them away in my keepsake box - but then I wouldn't get to wake up to them every morning and they make my room so much prettier.
Hmm maybe in a few more months when the novelty has sort of worn off... hopefully that happens before the shine and colour has, we'll see how we go.
K, time for my gym pants. No more excuses - Off I go!
Finding something to love on a Monday is hard enough let alone when your monthly friend decides to drop in turning your moods and mind all topsy turvy.
All the more reason to go in search of lovely things I suppose :)
Here are some things that have made me feel the love today:
Me & my darling heart before making things official
My much love imaginary entrant.
(that I'm no longer loving all that much)
Some images from my winter wanderings
And last as well as least - My shitty attempt at some photo editing...
Wish I could take better photos worth sharing but for now I think I'll stick to sharing the ones that inspire me instead.
Foot note: I guess I need to find some love for myself today too for at least trying and for having the courage to share my attempts (no matter how crappy they are) instead of hiding away in self doubt. It helps to know it's early days for my blog yet so not many people will be looking at these anyway lol!
I guess if you're reading this it means I'm actually going to do it. (Up till now this post has been sitting in my draft pile deleted only to be re-writen - twice!)
You're totally going to think I'm being a little bitch but after the way I was left feeling all day Saturday after just a few glasses *cough* a bottle *cough* of wine Friday night and waaay too much sausage (of the wrong kind) I'm seriously wondering how much longer I can go on with this lifestyle.
Not that it's unusual for me to drink a whole bottle to myself or sadly what i'd even consider excessive drinking especially on a Friday night but I did have to work the next day and I don't seem to function very well with a hangover these days.
Surely I'm getting old. Not to mention fatter.
Something has to change.
Then last night, while trying to amuse myself with some mindless magazine flicking, I came across an article in July's Cleo entitled: Teetotal Twentysomethings.
insert link here
(which i will do when the cleo website decides it wants to play)
Rather fitting I'd say.
So for now I'm actually toying with the idea of signing up for Dry July http://www.dryjuly.com/
I stress: Toying with the idea of...
though I think I actually might and now that's it's out there in blog world I think I probably will.
Surely it couldn't be that hard. Famous last words? hehehe
I dont think I drink that much on a regular basis (that could be delusion talking) and the sacrifice would be worth it.
Clear head, clear skin, healthier liver & bank account up to 4kgs weight loss (so the article says) but most importantly it's for a good cause that's close to so many people's hearts.
Too many of us have been affected by the cruel disease that is cancer. How I hate that word and the feelings it conjures up.
Well that settles it - I'm signing up today.
Wish me luck peeps - you know I'll keep you posted xox
p.s. I bit the bullet - God I'm sooo scared... I can't remember going longer than a few days without a drink... this may be harder than I thought - oh dear :/
If you'd like to show your support or donate to the cause please click on my link below: https://www.dryjuly.com/profiles/katerinaberry
All donations above $2 are tax deductible.
Even your comments of encouragement would be much appreciated ♥
Dear Kranski,
You rock my world.
Maybe not as much as white wine but I think we could start a love story all the same.
Just not the 3 of us - ever again..
xx Kat
Note to self: Menage a trois - not such a great idea. Kraskies + white wine + me = Bad romance.
I'll be sticking to the beers next time. Woke up feeling a lot less than ordinary and the repetition of sausage and wine all night long really wasn't appreciated.
As for clarity regarding dishonourable mention, I've come to the conclusion a response isn't even warranted, that I'm too soft for caring and that the only reason she contacted me (like always) is because she wants something. Cheeky bitch!
Honourable mention to Miss Mitts: Thank you for the camera advice my lovely - Totally worked and I'll be sure to spend countless future hours wasting plenty of valuable time playing with the many features of iphoto to create something that resembles a picture of semi artistic merit.
Seriously jump on this girls blog - you'll see what I mean by inspirational photography: http://cosrardandpenpen.blogspot.com/
Just a touch of shameless promotion... had to do it eventually.
Well I'm off to wax some more hairy fluff, just thought I'd sneak on to catch you up on the latest briefly before the next wave rolls in.
May even get a chance to do some dodgy photo editing while I'm at it.
Ok so this is turning out to be more of an on-line diary than I would've liked - but I just cant stay away! (Told you I had a big mouth, well overactive mind at least - sorry, but don't say I didn't warn you).
Once I can start uploading pics I'll be sure to talk less... I think.... hmm, probably not..
I also haven't forgotten that my original purpose was to share with you some of my creative writing but this requires a trip to Kastro d'Acropolis (aka my parents house) and like a black hole once you step through that threshold you may never come back out!
Greeks have a way of turning a short visit into an all day fiasco of feasting, gossiping and just general ruckus till you're so confused about why you were there in the first place that you need to spend another half an hour trying to remember.
All this between mouthfuls of meat and carbs. And don't even get me started on trying to leave... as horrid as this sounds I've actually had to hang up on my mum mid phone call in order to break the time loop continuum that is her conversation.
(Now you know where I get it from haha)
I know I shouldn't complain. I'm lucky to have such wonderful parents - exasperating though they can be.
I've always been Daddy's girl & I love my Mama with all my being - her cooking and larger than life personality really are the paths to my heart.
I don't know what the main preconceptions of little Greek mamas are but let me tell you; what mine lacks in height she more than makes up for in vivaciousness and homemaking skills.
I can tell you some stories, (namely my Hens Night) but lets save them for another day shall we...
I'm actually heading down there this weekend with hubby, so hopefully while they're distracted with fattening HIM up
(the man always gets taken care of first, totally chauvinistic but not worth the battle caused by me pointing out this fact) I can sneak away quietly and track down my old folders of fiction.
Provided mum hasn't hidden them in "a safe place".
*A safe place - The Bermuda Triangle that coexists in the Black Hole
*The Black Hole - My Parents House aka Kastro D'Acropolis aka The Wog Villa
Well wish me luck on that adventure. It's been 2 weeks since we visited mind you so the lecture we're about to cop on that front followed by the amount of catching up to do should equate to a 24hr affair. God help me!
Do you believe in signs?
Maybe I'm just too superstitious but I often believe things happen for a reason.
Take these recent events for example...
The past few nights I've been having extremely vivid dreams about an ex friend of mine.
Lets backtrack: After the fiasco of her behaviour during the lead up to my wedding this March she was demoted to maid of dis-honour/ former best friend.
(Long story short 20 yr friendship down the gurgler due to poor communication and a life time of built up resentment and unspoken issues made worse by some very immature behaviour. These problems were only amplified by the fact my life was changing and hers wasn't ergo growing apart in a rapid fashion ... sadness & hurt all round.)
So back to the signs -
In all these dreams she's reaching out to me for forgiveness but I don't know if that's just my subconscious desire to have her apologise and have the closeness back we once had even though my general mood in my dreams is that I definitely don't want reconciliation. But that could just be a manifestation of my underlining feelings. Blah blah blah...
20 years is a long time after all and even though the friendship was volatile and I don't under any circumstances miss the unhealthiness of our relationship or how we couldn't help ourselves from regressing to immature teenagers around each other, I do miss having that friend whom you know better than they know themselves and being truly known by them too.
In short it's been tough to lose her and maybe I just miss the drama but I've felt a little lost lately and I think a bit of it stems from the trauma of this whole wedding situation.
Cut to now - I get this text message today after 3 months of silence. Up till now nothing! Not even a Facebook poke, like or a pop in msg of hello how are you - nothing but pure hostile silence.
Then BAM a beep on my blackberry with - hi how are you??? Hope alls well and some shit about authorisation she wants me to give in order to get a refund for a voucher I bought for her 7 months ago at a day spa she's unable to book into.
So then some conversing back and forth and now I'm left with "So what else is new?"
Ummmmm....... wtf?
Are we gonna just dance around the fact that you not only sucked as my maid of honour, you actually sucked as my friend period at a time I needed you most then ditched your duties entirely just TWO WEEKS BEFORE MY WEDDING and proceeded to assure me you wanted to share in my day only to NOT turn up to the fucken reception!!!!!
Whats new??? You wanna know what's new? : You really suck.
I'll tell you what's not so new too: You still f'n suck!
But then I go and start wondering, what about those pesky little signs?
Isn't it odd that out of nowhere for the first time I start having dreams involving her just two days before she contacts me out of the blue?
More importantly is this her way of initiating a reconciliation? Even more importantly do I really want reconciliation or simply closure? Maybe I just want to rage but where will that get me?
I don't know what to do with this. Should I bother trying to fix a damaged friendship or is something like this best left alone?
A very wise client of mine once said mending a broken friendship is much like mending a broken vase.
You can try to restore it to it's former beauty but you'll always be able to see the cracks.
For now I'm gonna do the cowardly thing and hide behind the "I got to busy to return your text" excuse.
Maybe I'll gain more clarity tonight over kranskies with friends. Nothing like a big fatty sausage to cure what ails ya!
Starting Seasons photography project of Melville Park
Success? I think it may be official.
Here I am giving you Post # 2 and already in just a few short hours I've had 20 views.
Small potatoes, I know, but somewhat satisfying none the less :)
Even though most of those were probably just flicking through - I'll take whatever credit i can get lol.
After last nights obsession with editing and re-editing my first post I was left feeling rather optimistic about the future of this humble little blog. So much so I actually couldn't sleep I was so consumed by thoughts of what new literary delicacies I could dish out to you lovelies for your mental consumption.
Is that just a bit sad? - probably...
But boredom is a constant companion in this modern fast paced world of ours and you should know one of my many faults, or attributes depending on how you look at it, is an over eager desire to please. So the last thing i want is for anyone to feel bored by my ramblings.
Which brings me to the introduction of my project:
Seasons Photography
Now I don't pretend to have any photographic skills whatsoever and for fear of becoming all Single White Female (remember my inspirational friend? Well photography is kinda her thing - lets be honest, she rocks at it) I promise it wont be the focal point of my blog like hers.
I mean, I would be very surprised if it did considering I'm the kind of person who lops heads out of photos and still cant manage to sync my camera with my MacBook - I swear my cameras memory card doesn't seem to be compatible with it. Either that or I'm likely to be doing it wrong... Hmm, Which do you think it is??? haha ;)
Anyway the inspiration came on one of my walks with my dog the other day. Its become a little ritual that I take him to the same park every couple of days and I enjoy it but I never really took the landscape in at the start. No more than I usually do anyway. I'll admit with some music in my ears and my running shoes on I could walk and walk for hours but recently I came across a group called Explosions in the Sky and their form of post rock instrumental music absolutely moves me like nothing else I've heard. For some reason it only seems to have this exact effect when I'm out walking amongst nature and makes me so much more aware and appreciative of the beauty of my surroundings. In particular a song called: So Long Lonesome.
(all the nicest videos to go along with this music have been disabled so this is the best i could find. Still somewhat pretty I suppose..)
(Besides the random little drummer boy at the end. Wtf is with that?! I was waiting for the sun to set and out of nowhere you go and pop up. Way to ruin a clip D-bag)
Its quite contemplative music but I think you'll agree it seems to mesh well with nature. In fact their music has been used in countless documentaries.
But I'm rambling off coarse again....
So back to my epiphany, while out walking with my ipod and my dog, feeling all inspired by the trees & shiz I thought; "Wouldn't it be a nice little side project if I could capture the change of seasons and its effect on the park during my walks out, not only giving me another creative outlet but also encouraging me to step out of my comfort zone. Who knows I may even learn a thing or two about artful photography."
Hopefully anyway.
So that's the plan
Step 1. I took an array of photos while out just before so Step 2 is to actually figure out how to get them onto my computer ready for editing. May have to recruit the help of Miss Mitts on that one...
Geez louise i'm hopeless with technology! I'll definitely be one of those old women who cant work out why the remote for the T.V won't change the channel on the stereo (in fact I'm guilty of doing that only recently :/
Well stay tuned and with any luck this thing called Kitty Litter may turn into something interesting after all xox
- Kat
Look I figured it out - yippee!
Out on our walk earlier today. Isn't he the just the cutest?
Ok, well I guess this is blog post #1 and I suppose you'd like to know a little bit about what I aim to do with my little piece of cyber space. (Assuming I actually manage to conquer my computer illiteracy and successfully post what I'm jotting here...)
Once upon a time there was a girl who quite enjoyed writing and expressing her creativity through the art of words and illustration. As time went on, age and responsibility (or perhaps a little laziness) took over so pretty soon she found herself neglecting these skills and falling deeper and deeper into the mundane world of real life.
This here blog is my attempt at reawakening that young girl within and sparking that little flame of creativity again.
I'll be honest, I'm not sure where this whole thing is heading exactly and I sure as hell hope it doesn't turn into a boring on-line diary - for your sakes... Truly, my life is not that interesting.
But I did get some assurance from a friend whom I consider an enormous inspiration at the moment, that this whole online blogging process can be quite soothing for the soul and has a way of unveiling itself in its purpose... although right now I'm feeling a lot more nervous and self conscious than anything close to liberated.
Wish I knew how to keep this whole thing anonymous for now. At least till I get more comfortable with what i'm doing.
There's an enormous vulnerability that comes with not only expressing your inner most thoughts but sharing any sort of projects we attempt. They're these little labours of love that we set forth into the world and hope with all our hearts they aren't judged too harshly.
And I must admit I am my own harshest critic. So on that note I'll stop with the self reflection before I reflect so much I delete this whole post.
Wow this has turned into quite the ramble: I cant believe I'm actually about to push PUBLISH POST - Do I dare utter a timid "Woo Hoo"? Oh dear only time will tell if it becomes an "oh no" instead... Well, for now at least, I guess its "Bye Bye"-
