Hump Week

And what a hump it has been.
This weekend marks the end of week 2 of Dry July (and quietly, also my detox month) so you'd assume it would all be down hill from here right?
Wrong.
It all started going downhill as of last Monday.
Tiredness, no thanks to my thyroid, combined with the nonchalance losing weight brings to me was my inevitable undoing. (I had almost reached my goal weight - just 1.5kg off according to my scales on Mon- Yippee!)
You see while others see results as a reason to spur them on, I seem to suddenly relax.
I thought that even though I hadn't done a smidge of exercise all week that my past efforts would make up for it and that I owed it to myself to have a little rest on the healthy eating and fitness plan seeing as I'd been so good on the alcohol front all month.

Imagine my horror when I hoped onto the scales and saw a 3.5kg weight gain!   WTF?!
I'm back at square one and then some!
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, the wagon's dragged me along the asphalt all week and trampled me for attempting to hang on.

Needless to say I had a little cry this morning, moped around the house for a bit then decided to pull my shit together and get back on the horse.

Sorry for getting back on the negativity train, but honestly - I didn't believe it was possible to gain that much weight in less than a week but lo and behold I've set a new standard. And when i really stop to think about what's been going into my mouth all week it actually makes sense. It's like the flood gates opened up and my mouth along with it ready to ingest whatever came my way.

• Dumplings, dumplings and ever more dumplings
• White bread, white pasta, white rice, fried chips, cheeese, cheeeeeese, cheeeeeeese!!!
• Snacking on double brie and smoked ham on Savoys or in a sandwich every day
• Two pieces of toast with breakfast, lunch and dinner.
• English toffee ice-cream every night (it was fat free ok, so by my deluded calculations I could eat a quarter of a tub per sitting)
• And of coarse, sleeping in and sitting on my ass at every free opportunity I could find

Any wonder I'm not coming to you from an insulin induced coma right now.

I know I said my PCOS condition was a blessing in disguise because it stops me from treating my body like shit.
And that's very true.
But sometimes the weight of it all - the diabetic diet, the hormonal imbalances, the inability to conceive, the constant struggle with my weight and need to work out twice as hard as the average human being in order to maintain it - can feel like too much to bear.
Sometimes I just wish I could have it easy for a change.
And then I remember. It's not a life threatening illness. I'm not powerless to create change. I can control my symptoms and while yes there are people in the world that have it way easier there're are so many more who have it way tougher than I do.
So today I chose to take this weeks lesson and run with it - literally.

I cannot afford to give up. The payoff's too important xx